• Copper and Bronze! Fear the Robo-Minion!


  • Oo! Oo! Oo! They want to be like you!

  • Oi, Sunshine! Shut it!

  • In that outfit, Lancelot Cray knew that Kitty Stroker wasn't hiding anything.

  • Solomon had to be careful or one of those Femdroids would have his eye out.

  • Darius enjoyed the Lotus position - especially at 200 M.P.H.

  • The lunchtime rush at the S.H.I.V.A. canteen was a nightmare.

  • Dr Landau impressed the other eggheads with his new cordless TV remote.

  • "'Allo, 'Allo, 'Allo! What's going on 'ere then?"

  • The only thing more expensive than jet fuel was the Daredevils' dry cleaning bill.

  • Sinbad confronted Al'Kadar before the wizard had had a chance to dry his hands!

  • Ratzi and LeBrock investigate


Club Deals

If you are a member of a gaming club and want to get 7TV 2nd played, we have 2 excellent deals available for clubs. To unlock each one all you have to do is include at least one 7TV 2nd edition starter game (£40) and hit the minimum spend from any of the CD miniature range. If you place your order before the end of November 29th, you can get the boxed game at £10 off! Easy.

  • Starter Villain: Spend £100+, get 2x FREE Starter Casts of you choice
  • Master Villain: Spend £200+, get get 4x FREE Starter Casts of you choice

Full details are on our 7TV 2nd edition for Clubs page. Spread the word!

Scooby Doo News WP

FREE Scooby Doo Programme Guide

Jinkies! You really can play anything with 7TV 2nd edition! And to prove it here’s a free mini programme guide for you. It includes profiles and an episode for everyone’s favourite teen investigators based on the cracking Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated series. You can download it for FREE from Gumroad. If you’d like the 2nd edition rules you can get the print friendly files here or the actual physical products here.

New 2e Online edition available

7TV 2nd edition FINAL rules + cards available

We have updated the free PDF version of the 7TV 2nd edition rules as we’re happy that they are 100% done and complete. These rules are the same as the ones which will be released in the boxed game, available in our Dicestarter. If you have the beta test version, you can get the new files from Gumroad (FREE!) Go on, it’s this or a dip in the lava pool…

2e What's in the box

A word on 7TV 2nd edition by Lancelot Cray, CEO

Attention loyal consumers! We here at United Radionics would like to take a few minutes of your time to tell you more details about the new product the 7TV 2nd edition boxed game developed with our subsidiary Crooked Dice, and now available to pre-order. This is truly an item for the new age we are living in, and will rank alongside the Uranium Stove and the Brain Aerial as one of United Radionics’ greatest joint ventures.

Despite what some news reports might say, this game is harmless and safe around children and animals. Neither indeed was it, or any of its many, many component parts, tested on anyone who wasn’t willing. We have their signatures. I would like to discuss in detail each component of the game, and how having it in your life will make you even more loyal to the United Radionics you trust.

  • The 48 page Director’s Guide tells you all about the world of 7TV, or at least the parts our publicity people think you should be told. Most of this book is taken up with the rules of the game. These rules require only your free will and several six-sided dice. And we supply the dice. You’ll find rules for moving, fighting, shooting, using special effects, gadgets, vehicles and more. Are the rules good? Well, we have a long list of employees who would be glad to tell you it is superb. If they recover.
  • The 32 page Producer’s Book gives you an overview of each type of model in the game, heroic and villainous. From this book you can create casts of benevolent industrial enterprises such as ours, or the interfering organisations of law and order – or aliens, cultists, or military groups. You name it. The book also contains six ready to play episodes, each one based on our ‘go-getting’ approach to product development. Rounding the book off we have a handy reference guide to the models and their genres, so you can make up casts en route to your next disciplinary meeting or hospital photo opportunity.
  • There are 74 heroic profile cards and 74 villainous cards in the boxed game. To save the busy executive time, you no longer need to look up each model’s statistics in some dusty ledger or sales report. Now the information is to hand. Possibly a bionic hand, but perhaps we will make that announcement closer to Christmas. Each card has the full details for each model, on paper from trees we or one of our subsidiaries felled somewhere in the world.
  • Also included are 45 countdown and 20 gadget cards. The countdown cards serve as a visual reminder of how long your current episode will last before you can get a late afternoon round of golf in, as well as providing the random events almost certainly required to spice up your employee’s – sorry, castmember’s – lives. We scoured our failed prototype labs to bring you details on each one of the gadget cards, with which you can equip your models during play. More bang (and death benefits) for your buck. As they say.
  • Nothing could be clearer than the 20 glass plot point tokens we have included. These were not intended to be red, it was just a by-product of a small accident we had when we were making them. Plot points power the whole game system, so make your models work for each one you give them.
  • A company as global as ours knows a few things about the kinds of unfortunate statuses which can ail a worker. Last year we are proud to say we had 12 accident free days. If your cast is suffering from being weakened, stunned, dominated or are sadly on fire, you can use these 22 acrylic tokens to mark them as such before docking their pay. There are also 5 objective tokens, which as any executive will tell you, are what it’s all about.
  • We have combined several elements together into the 5″ circular acrylic blast template. It can measure both 3″ and 5″ blasts (useful when accidents happen), as well as the effect of a flamethrower burst. It also has a handy logarithmic table, useful for calculating sickness pay deductions.
  • The macguffin is a super-objective, represented in the box by a miniature version of our best-selling “Hypnos” television set cast in a fashionable heavy metal, which is possibly non-toxic if swallowed or handled.
  • So that is the contents of the 2nd edition 7TV boxed game. Time is money, so we naturally also sell the boxed game components separately.
  • Obviously you get a box as well, just don’t get it wet. The organo-aquatic polymer does tend to have a mind of its own.

You can purchase the boxed set or any of the components at any of our on-site stores offices or by visiting http://www.crooked-dice.co.uk/wp/7tv-2e-dicestarter/

2e Pre-order launch


Our DICESTARTER has launched from our secret volcano lair! Pre-order our 7TV 2nd edition boxed game, individual components or exclusive starter casts and avoid inevitable perilous death by mutated sea creature!

Site Maintenance

PLANNED WEBSITE OUTAGE: 16 OCT 8.30pm – Midnight(ish)

Our Technical Minion is updating our website tonight, during this time it will be unavailable. This is perfectly normal. We hope to have everything done in time for breakfast tomorrow, we will provide complimentary bacon rolls to everyone by way of inconveniencing you all.

Villainous Archetypes 1

Beware! Scum and Villainy! Grab your privates!

At last! New lead for you. We have released two packs this month.

Our first Villains set gives some great stars to lead your casts including a Despotic Dictator, Otherwordly Invader, Sinister Mystic and an Underworld Boss.

Attention! The second release are a staple for any war gamer – in fact we’re slightly embarrassed that we’ve only just got around to them. There are four Army Privates armed with rifles – perfect soldiers to hold the line against your enemies.

Army Privates with Rifles

7TV2 September

7TV 2nd Edition Beta 2 available!

Our playtesters have been through it with a variety of tricorders, nuclear scanners and alien mind probes. We’re fairly confident we have locked down an even tighter version than previously. Now available FREE to download from Gumroad with:

• Changed/improved numerous things after playtest comments
• Revised the order and wording for clarity
• Fixed more typos and gremlins
• Updated all the cards to the new rules

It’s all still 100% FREE and is now pretty close in content to the rules which will get released in a snazzy box set April 2016. The box will contain (amongst many other things) 2x rulebooks, in full colour, bedecked with photos, illustrations and TV listings.

PX PG News

Paranormal Exterminator Programme Guide available

Here’s the first release for our 7TV second edition rules – the Paranormal Exterminators programme guide. With thirty new profiles for ghost hunters, spectres, spooks and cryptozoological threats, this 24 page PDF will allow you to add a supernatural spin to your 7TV games. Also included are four scenarios and background material on the little known Dead On Arrival television show from the Barron archives – all illustrated with photography from Kevin Dallimore.


Otherworld Fantasy Skirmish rules and accessories in stock

We are now stocking the Otherworld Fantasy Skirmish rulebook, tokens and cards sets! Published by Otherworld Miniatures, the rules utilise the Crooked Dice action:engine to help recreate old school tabletop action.

OFS rulebook cover

Suitable for beginners and veteran gamers alike, the fluid and fast-moving action:engine is a simple and elegant game system that gives your gaming encounters an epic atmosphere and depth of strategy. Choose from over 100 classic characters, monsters and minions to build your factions, from adventurers and acolytes, orcs and ogres, demons and dragons, and many more besides!

Wield arcane magic with mighty spells and enchanted artefacts. Experience thrilling adventures packed with unexpected encounters — wandering monsters, treacherous traps and the promise of a fabulous treasure glinting in the darkness…